Saturday, March 12, 2011

Too Deep for the Average.

It's obvious that I love you. It's obvious that I'm stupid when it comes to you. They say you live and you learn, but when it comes to you things don't seem to work out that way. I'm living, but every time I think I'm learning you are here again. What will be enough? When will I be fed up? Where is my breaking point? I can't seem to find any of that with you. Things always lead back to us. I feel like I run so far, but you always catch up with me. You always bring me into submission. Let's be clear I have never been about settling, but with you it seems like the farthest thing from settling. It's like you make me happier than anyone I've ever met, but you have the ability to make me feel the worse feeling I have ever felt. I can't even begin to explain why I'm here and not ready to leave. I cant even type a reason that's clear enough to make anyone understand how I feel about you. It's like I rather be in the midst of this confusing situation then in a normal one with someone else. I know it's bad, but I can't put him down. I can't stop. I don't believe in letting our love die. Yeah, it's that deep to me. I've come too far to turn around and give it all up. Yal probably wont feel me on this one though. lol That's fine.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

That Chapter Is Done, Well I'm Done Reading for Now

I spent 2 or 3 years however you want to count it loving this man and what happens it crumbles. I learned that I wont be played with any longer. I mean it was the hardest breakup ever and it was never even official. It's crazy right you can live with someone and not know them. I mean I'm better now. It's just a lesson that I had to learn even though I avoided it for as long as I could. I grew up and that meant leaving him behind. I finally learned I deserved not to share the man I love, so I stopped sharing. I mean I cried myself to sleep so many times, but things are better this way. The only thing that makes me upset is that I can't say if he came back the right way that I would turn him down. I still love him, but that's natural right. I sure hope it is. The craziest thing is that he told me he misses me and I didn't even let it affect me because I know he's still the same. You can't always have who you want. You have to wait for the person God has for you.

-Shakiyah Ivory

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Yes, You can call it a comeback.

Oh How I've missed thee. I mean without my blog I've been quite lost, so I'm coming back. Everyone needs an outlet and this blog is definitely mine. I'm over the no computer blues. I'm just going to steal my roommates. A lot has been going on, so I have so much to tell you all. I haven't styled anything in forever so I know I'll have great looks for the winter. I lost it for a while, but I'm back. This time I hope never to leave, maybe expand, but NEVER leave. Don't worry I won't go back on my word. So spread the word for everyone to come back here Monday at 8pm to see what I have in store.

- Shakiyah Ivory xoxox

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Been Gone for a MInute

I still haven't bought a computer. Please don't ask me where my money has been going because I honestly don't know. I really would like to get my computer back, so I can get back to you all. I honestly miss you guys so much. I feel like I have been abusing our relationship. It's ridiculous. Well if you are wondering I'm still single, going to school, and aspiring to be one of the hugest celebrity stylists out there. I hope to accomplish all that I set out to do. Don't worry I'll be back soon lovelies.

A little Kiyah on KIyah Action lmaoo

The love I have for myself stops me from losing myself in any relationship I enter.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

All to Myself

Like, when did I become the type to share? I mean I share, but not my man. Is he changing me and if so is this for better or worse? These thoughts have been running through my mind lately. I mean we've been dating for six months and we still haven't made it official. I even knew him a year before we started dating, so what does that mean?
I mean there is no doubt in my head that if I said I was leaving if things don't become official that he wouldn't make it happen, but I don't wanna bring it up. I want him to. I mean yes we are a million and when I say a million miles away from each other I mean it, but I thought love conquers all.
Part of me never brings it up because I think it would be unfair to make a young man that has it all together give up his single life to be in a monogamous relationship with a girl who lives a 7-9 hour drive away. So, why do I care about this dumb title?
Oh, that's it. I don't like to share, but I share for him because this is not the simplest situation. WE are BOTH in college with jobs and leadership positions in organizations on campus, so we don't have the most time. It gets stressful and I can be a total BITCH at times, but he doesn't trip. And even though he is a million miles away he is ALWAYS there when I need him.
And when we do finally see each other it's always wonderful. I feel at ease and he's a sweetheart. I mean I just want to be his girl and I know that titles aren't everything, but I'm tired of going on pointless dates and entertaining conversations when I know what I want. Shoot me I'm selfish!
I mean I won't be saying anything to him about this because I want for him to want it. I don't want to be in a relationship because he thinks he has to do this in order to not lose me. I want for him to be in it because that's what he wants.
I mean at the end of the day I'm happy, but it just weirds me out that he's not my man. Well, he is MY MAN and I have no problem acting like the crazy girlfriend even though I don't have the title. He never stops me either it's like we know what it is, so what if it isn't broadcasted.
I just don't want to lose myself. I don't want to change because of him, but maybe that's what relationships are about. Learning from one another and changing for the better. I mean, but who says this is better? I don't know. I've just been thinking.


Thursday, May 13, 2010

Baby Lemme Style You!

Hey Guys,
I broke my laptop, so I can't post as much as I'd like. However, I did style a new outfit. It's ideally for date on the beach for sunset. It's real relaxed and will work fine with numerous body types. I kept everything real simple and feminine. It's fine for dinner too, but I just think it's really cute for a walk on the beach during sunset. Hopefully, him & I will still have our get away this summer and I'll be able to recreate this outfit. I hope you all like it.