Thursday, December 3, 2009
"When I Think of You"
It seems as though as hard as I try to look at you like a monster I remember
The late night phone convos which occured every nite
The sweet little text messages that showed you care
The extra mile you went to make me smile
The meal you cooked for me
The charms you bought me for no reason at all
The things you said
The smile you put on my face
The plans we made
How your always there to listen
How when something goes wrong your still the first person I call
How much I really want you
How we still are good friends
How I can hate you this week & next week we are having sleep overs
How you tell me that its hard to let go because you still have feelings for me
How exactly I still feel for you
& How you made me happy & I did the same thing for you
Yeah I remember all these things, but I don't understand why I can't get in my head that things you did are memories & some of the things I want will never come to be.I know we will never be,yet I still find myself holding on to a piece of my dream.
We were so good and then out of nowhere you didn't want to lead me on because you weren't ready for the next step.Maybe I just didn't make you feel the way I thought I did.Maybe I'm not the girl for you.
These thoughts have ran through my head so many times, so why do I still feel for you?I should forget you and everything we had, but sometimes I find myself getting teary eyed because I'm missing you. The thing is I should hate you because I know all your dirt. I know things that you think I have no idea about, but through all of that I still have feelings for you.
&& I'm not unhappy right now. I don't want you to think you have that much control. I'm actually happy alone.It's just that sometimes I miss you and this is the thought process I have. It's real and I get a little emotional, but by the end of the post I'm over it, well until the next time I think about you.