Monday, April 12, 2010

Do I Want That Old Thing Back?

I keep getting this question & I don't know why, but I figured I'll put all that I know about it here so I can make it clear.

Every time my friends get drunk they ask me "Do I miss or still love my ex or whatever you want to call him?"

Of course I still love him, but I'm definitely not in love with him. I'm still his friend and since I'm single we still tend to hang out, but I think I can honestly say I'm over him. Yeah I'm past the idea of us being together because he made it clear that I wasn't what he wanted. Your probably wondering why I still hang with him though. Well even though he never wanted a relationship with me he never "not wanted" me. I always see him as being confused about what he wanted and although I could be the best thing for him he obviously was not the best thing for me. I'll always sparkle in his eye because of who I am and the way I handled the situation and he'll always be the "homie" until I have a boyfriend who doesn't want us around each other. It's almost as if we have a bond that refuses to break. It can get quite confusing and people are probably wondering how do I keep myself from falling back in love. It's really not that hard. I mean yeah our good times will definitely out weigh the bad times, but the moments that made me realize he wasn't what I needed stood out way more. I will admit that we don't have the most innocent relationship, but he doesn't have my heart anymore.

Plus, I have someone new that treats me exactly how I deserve to be treated and sure he's a million miles away, but I wouldn't risk losing him to be in a hell that is around the corner. I'm not needy for anyone's company or acceptance, so I have no problem being single.

I'm not saying that my ex and I will never get back together because I simply don't know what the future holds, but I can tell you this I wont settle. Even though sometimes I am my happiest with my ex he couldn't commit himself to me and I deserve my own man. I refuse to share with another female. Maybe if more females knew their self worth they would understand exactly where I am coming from.



Freckles said...

very well written and said. I feel you on this post. I am friends with several of my exes and its cool. We mostly have innocent relationships and I like that when we are together it is about us being goofy and simply having a good time. it's cool. So all that to say that i understand and you so hit it on the head with women knowing their own self worth. You so deserve what's for you and your own no matter what. It seems that you know how to handle yourself in this situation and their should be no judgments. One of the best things I ever heard a man say, a friend's father, once you know howpeople are you carry yourself accordingly. so continue doing you boo.


Shakiyah Ivory said...

Thanks so much Freckles. I love the feedback. It let's me know that someone actually takes the time to read my thoughts. Thanks again for the support. <3

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