Monday, April 12, 2010
Do I Want That Old Thing Back?
I keep getting this question & I don't know why, but I figured I'll put all that I know about it here so I can make it clear.
Every time my friends get drunk they ask me "Do I miss or still love my ex or whatever you want to call him?"
Of course I still love him, but I'm definitely not in love with him. I'm still his friend and since I'm single we still tend to hang out, but I think I can honestly say I'm over him. Yeah I'm past the idea of us being together because he made it clear that I wasn't what he wanted. Your probably wondering why I still hang with him though. Well even though he never wanted a relationship with me he never "not wanted" me. I always see him as being confused about what he wanted and although I could be the best thing for him he obviously was not the best thing for me. I'll always sparkle in his eye because of who I am and the way I handled the situation and he'll always be the "homie" until I have a boyfriend who doesn't want us around each other. It's almost as if we have a bond that refuses to break. It can get quite confusing and people are probably wondering how do I keep myself from falling back in love. It's really not that hard. I mean yeah our good times will definitely out weigh the bad times, but the moments that made me realize he wasn't what I needed stood out way more. I will admit that we don't have the most innocent relationship, but he doesn't have my heart anymore.
Plus, I have someone new that treats me exactly how I deserve to be treated and sure he's a million miles away, but I wouldn't risk losing him to be in a hell that is around the corner. I'm not needy for anyone's company or acceptance, so I have no problem being single.
I'm not saying that my ex and I will never get back together because I simply don't know what the future holds, but I can tell you this I wont settle. Even though sometimes I am my happiest with my ex he couldn't commit himself to me and I deserve my own man. I refuse to share with another female. Maybe if more females knew their self worth they would understand exactly where I am coming from.